Finding your what?!
I know! I have to say this was a new concept for me too, but I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit recently. I’ve noticed that when I reach my version of this place I feel good, calm and remarkably together, even though the world around me may be cracking at the seams and about to implode! September has been a bit of a roller coaster for me, lots of highs and a few low lows. However, I’ve found myself coming back to my happy high status and trusting myself that I will do my best, be myself and the rest will work out as it should.
What’s ‘high status’ all about then?
As Viv Groskop wrote in her book ‘How to Own the Room’, it’s about a state of mind as well as an ease in your body. She talks about it from the point of establishing presence and confidence. Knowing that you really own your ‘status’ at a given moment in time, perhaps when you’re giving a speech or a presentation. Happy high status people are in control and confident, but generous and easy going with it. They seem to glide. There are no rules as to what it should be or look like, it’s very individual. Viv talks about Michelle Obama having loads of it which starts, she suggests, with having a strong posture and healthy body. Of course, I rushed off and read ‘Becoming’, Michelle Obama’s book recounting her journey from childhood to First Lady, and you can see how she found and developed her happy high status.
On a similar note, I was lucky enough to see Caroline Goyder in action the other week, author of the fabulous book ‘Gravitas’. Gravitas is about communicating with confidence, influence and authority, plus a little bit of something else which you can’t quite articulate. A good vibe maybe? Caroline talks about how to use your voice and your posture to build confidence and develop gravitas, much like high status.
Obviously, it’s not as simple as just talking loudly and standing up straight to achieve high-status or gravitas! There’s something else beneath it; experiences, knowledge, credibility, belief, inner strength and more. A feeling. But what I’ve learnt over and over again is to trust rather than doubt myself. I find my version of high-status and gravitas when I lean in to myself, draw on my strengths and know that I can do this!
Don’t be fooled however, this isn’t something you suddenly find and then always have! It ebbs and flows. However the more aware you are of what’s going on for you, the easier it becomes to find it when you really need it!
This was highlighted for me recently when I was talking to a friend of mine who happens to be a brilliant coach. I was recounting something that had happened at work and she kept noticing a change in my voice, it’s tone, speed and intonation. She kept asking me “who’s that talking?” I’d say “It’s me!” She’d say “No it’s not. She sounds different to the person I see in action when you lead courageously from the front, employing your strengths of empathy, compassion, relationship building, emotional control and strategic mindedness. Where’s she gone?” I realised then. That’s when I’m in happy high status! When I’m drawing on my innate strengths. Yes, my experiences, skills and knowledge, but also the stuff that’s unique to me and my make-up. The stuff that makes me who I am.
When did you last make the best of what makes you who you are and find your happy high status? Crikey that’s a big question to leave you with… but I trust you to find your own answer. You know where to find me if you need a bit of help though 😊!